Taking Care of You, So You Can Take Care Of Others
Most of us spend the majority of our days caring for others in some capacity or another. That’s because our most basic and natural human nature is to love one another, and care for them accordingly. That’s a beautiful thing.
However, our desire to love and care for others is taking over our desire to love and care for ourselves. We are exhausting ourselves in our mission to love the people we care most about.
This week’s blog post is important. It’s all about how to take care of yourself… so that you can be better prepared to take care of others. We can be better helpers when our cups are full.
I want to say this more clearly- if you are putting others first and always, you will collapse. This is not sustainable for the long term for anyone, but especially for people living with autoimmune disease. Rest and recovery is an important part of our lives. It takes energy to care for others, and so we need to make sure that our energy tanks are full- before we care for others. And then, after our energy output (ie, taking your sick mother to the doctor, or spending time with your children, or going to work if your job is one where you care for others)- you need to replenish that energy. I want you to put yourself first, so you can continue to help all these people in need. Remember that depletion and burnout helps nobody. That’s a lose lose situation. Think of it as a cell phone battery life. You need to start with a full battery, so you can use the phone all day without it shutting down. Your body is the same.
Here are my tips on how to replenish yourself each and every day, so you can have the constant energy you need, in order to give to the people you love.
1) Start your day off right. You need to set yourself up well for the day. Drink water, eat a nourishing breakfast, exercise, breathe, get outside. Practice slowing your heart rate down to create a sense of calm. Do something that gives you joy. Start your day loving you. And don’t let the anticipation of the day creep in.
Now, I know that with certain family situations, this can be difficult. However. It is essential for you to take care of you, so you can take care of them. So- set boundaries. Talk to your partner about needing to make space for yourself in the morning. Talk to the people in your household about what you need- even if they are small children. Incorporate them into these activities. For example, I start my day with some deep breaths and a short walk outside - and my kids do it with me. Every day (when possible). Communicating your needs is an important part of this- it helps you to not get (unintentionally) railroaded later.
2) During the day, when things get crazy, try to stay calm. Work on your breath. Stay calm. Focus on those transition times, in between the busy-ness. Breathe, stretch, move, drink water, eat something healthy. Find something that makes you laugh.
When you are in the thick of the busy-ness, consider this. We often give it “everything we’ve got”. I am encouraging you NOT to do this. Don’t give everything you’ve got. 75%, or even 50% will be very effective. Take breaks, nourish yourself. Ask yourself, what do I need right now? That self-awareness is key. And if you can’t give yourself what you need at that moment, think about how you can give it to yourself a little later.
3) At the end of the day, continue to take care of yourself. Think about it as a bookend. How do you start and end your day with a focus on YOU. What do you need? Rest, healthy food, hydration, exercise? A good book, some coloring or a walk outside? Alone time or connecting with a friend? This time before bed is important. It doesn’t have to be much. 15 minutes is a good start- and if you can get more “me” time in, then great.
Where does exercise fit in this? Well, it’s essential. Because exercise, particularly strength training, helps to GIVE you a larger energy tank. As your strength builds, so does your energy levels… which means that you will have more to give to others- without depleting yourself in the process.
Don’t let caring for others be at the expense of caring for yourself. However- this is really hard for so many of us to put into practice. So- if you need help with this? We are here to coach you. That’s part of what Autoimmune Strong does- part exercise, part self care instruction. Let’s take care of you, so you can take care of the ones you love.